Over the past couple of days on Larvatus Prodeo in the Lazy Sunday thread there has been an ongoing discussion by some people living with cancer or living with relatives and friends who have cancer.
I have mestazised prostate cancer myself. (No sympathy please. So far I'm coping and am in remission.)
Though I'm aware I might risk having this thread overwhelmed, I'm setting it up as a place where, if they want to, if they have cancer, or are living with friends and/or relatives with cancer, people will always have a place to talk. Apart, probably, from a few initial comments, I won't say much. This thread is a place where other people can talk if they want. Not for me to hold forth.
So, if you need it, it's here. Always unmoderated, and always here. (Though I would ask people not to make any defamatory comments.)
Update:The link to Anna Donald's blog can be found here:
http://blogs.bmj.com/bmj/category/from-the-other-side/
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G'Day Paul
ReplyDeleteWell things have changed a bit with my daughter who now has been taken off her medications for all but pain. Though because of the lung complications she still requires regular plural taps. Her oncologist has organized for the pain management to be continued at home. It's been an awful time this last couple of weeks for her and she's just glad to be off the chemo etc as she never had a break from feeling crook. Anyway that comes with the knowledge that they have now done all they can other than make her as comfortable as possible at home with her mother and sisters. I'll travel over during the week and each week for however long we have left. Thanks for the opportunity to use your blog as I haven't felt too much like communicating elsewhere and probably wont for a while now.
That's what its here for, mate. Any time. I know nothing I can say will make things better, but being able to talk about it sometimes helps bolster up the courage if you know what I mean.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you and your daughter and the rest of your family. It's hard, I know.
My sister had metastasized breast cancer and passed away on Feb 1 this year. She was a doctor and medical researcher, and wrote a blog about living with cancer and other philosophical and life matters that interested her. The blog entries can be read at http://blogs.bmj.com/bmj/?s=Anna+Donald&x=0&y=0
ReplyDeleteThanks, Ben. My deepest sympathies.
ReplyDeleteHi Paul
ReplyDeleteThanks to Ben and condolences. Your sisters' wonderful and tragic blog has been a great help.
Since going off all treatments and relying on steroids for pain relief my daughter has been able to have quality time and between pleural taps can get about. last week several people came out from the States and some from Korea to reconnect with her as friends from 20yrs ago. Meanwhile I'm still making weekly visits to Adelaide [driving] and as an old truckie, find that quality time for reflection.
Hi, zorronsky. Bit late getting back to you. (I only check me blog every now and then and I don't seem to be able to get the e-mail thing for notification of comments. (If it exists.)
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear that your daughter can at least have some quality time. I know its not perfect, but at least its something. I'm glad Ben's sister's blog helped. I've only met him on-line, though we might catch up with each other if I go to the Socialist Alliance state conference in Sydney in August. (The travel is a bit of a worry See you're back on LP.
Hear from you again soon I hope, and that the news stays good about how your daughter is coping.
G'Day Paul,
ReplyDeleteThings are approaching a tipping point with Tanya. She's a tough customer but I'm afraid the wall is beginning to crack. The other day her lip trembled as she told of her fears for the time, fast approaching ,when she is no longer in control of her actions.
Losing feeling in her hands has her projecting ahead along the path she sees others on while in palliative care.
I wanted to reach out more strongly than I did but I'm afraid that when she lets go she'll give up? Am I being selfish? I still travel over to her every week and I try to resume normality between trips. Sometimes I get so out of it I try too hard.
Thanks again for this thread, it's a big help. I hope you are as well as can be and I'll get back to post again soon.
Wally Atkinson.
Wally, I'm fine. Will have the next injection of horse needle and next lot of blood tests at the end of August. My doctor is quite impressed. Usually people are well and truly dead by now, apparently, but I just keep truckin' along like I'm normal. Touch wood. (I got a book to finish and a world to save.)
ReplyDeleteFear of death is a weird one. Personally I reckon it'd be nice to be rested from all the pain and the rest of the shit that your body has to go through.
Its the pain-to-come that really bothers me. (Once in the blue moon I get an occasional one second twinge and it is excruciating).
Its not a matter of giving up, Wally. When your time comes and you got to go, you got to go. For all our really modern technology you can't hold death back. It just comes for you and then your'e rested.
I don't know if there's an afterlife. ("Stranger things than are dreamt of in our philosophy, Horatio")but from a little reading I did at a mate's place in a Saturday/Sunday mag about near-death experiences, if there is one it doesn't sound too bad.Very, very pleasant, actually.
Best wishes to you and your daughter. (She can post here too if she wants.) I don't know if me spilling out my thoughts helps, but its nice if it does.
Post again soon.
And btw you're not being selfish. You love your daughter. You don't want to lose her, especially really painfully like this. So far as I can work out that is ABSOLUTELY NORMAL.
ReplyDeleteThanks Paul and yes your thoughts help and matter.
ReplyDeleteOn the blog , it's a blogspot too so click on Zorronsky here or at LP.
Hello Paul
ReplyDeleteWell it has finally come to pass. My beautiful brave daughter died in hospice at noon 27th of October after 8yrs battling breast cancer. One of so many struck down in the prime of life. Thank you for the blog and your condolences during this intense and trying time. 'Bye for now.
Gratefully, Wally Atkinson.
Hi, Wally.
ReplyDeleteMy deepest sympathies. I didn't read this message before today, (!st November) or I would have got back to you sooner. At least you have the consolation, small though it is, of knowing she's no longer in pain. My sincere condolences. Please feel free to post here again if you want/need. Sometimes taliking helps. Anyway,
PB.